I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
