This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
