was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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