the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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