What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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