Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
