There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
