I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You made out with two different species that night
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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