When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
