i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
