windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
