so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
