Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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