I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
How does one acquire holy water?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
