it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
