Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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