I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
did i walk over a car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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