Apparently you make a good broom.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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