I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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