I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
