he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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