can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
