If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
