Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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