i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
