I just cut my nipple shaving
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
