It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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