glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
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It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
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I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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