Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize