you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize