Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
