i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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