if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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