That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
