Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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