onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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