Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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