Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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