the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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