Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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