The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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