But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
