The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
