I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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