wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
