dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I wish life had little blips of pornography
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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