Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize