i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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