News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
