My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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