Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize