tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
