I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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