So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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