How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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