why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
