i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize