He uses pillows to masturbate.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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