found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Randomize
